Monday, March 27, 2006

Virgin Mary Tags Another Bridge

Last night I caught part of the local news and I'm glad I did. Apparently another miracle has happened-the Virgin Mary put an image of herself on a bridge in Illinois (you can also go to CNN and there's a video showing the image as well as some very creepy christian chanting which I had trouble linking to). Now personally I think it's inappropriate for someone to draw their image everywhere and litter the country with grafitti. Just take a look at some of the images we've been blessed with in the past year.







This last one is the image of Jesus, in case you don't see the obvious. So this brings me to my next question. Why the fuck can't any of these christian dieties draw worth anything?!? I mean, shit, if I had supernatural powers and I was going to put up an image to bring hope and increase the faith of my followers I'd make a beautiful picture on the moon, or in the sky. And the quality would be better than anyone's ever seen. But putting some crappy sketch of yourself in someone's toast? C'mon, how am I supposed to fear an all-powerful god when apparently he can't even make a half-decent sketch on an overpass?

But you know, maybe I just don't have enough faith. Maybe I'm using my brain too much and think that I know what Jesus and Mary look like. But perhaps I don't, and they are trying to correct my perception. This theory sounds pretty rock solid so I don't feel nervous jumping the gun and proclaiming my discovery. Behold, the following is what Jesus and Mary really looked like.






Please contact your local church and make them aware of all the false images they're helping to advance.

12 comments:

Fair Enough said...

hahaha that's awesome, nice post Delta! Maybe if we all look hard enough we'll have a revelation (aka religious orgasm, but without the physical pleasure)...

d said...

haha brilliant post. i especially like the revised images of jesus and mary. we must all remain vigilant to catch more divine glimpses of these holy symbols!

WAIT! the word verification below looks exactly like the red sea being parted! omg i wish you could have seen it.

TheJollyNihilist said...

Does anybody else suddenly feel embarrassed to be a member of the human species when they see our peers looking at a piece of toast and trying to find the face of mythic figures? It's almost as embarrassing as the fact that, in a recent poll, some 20% of adult Americans declared they believe in the geocentric universe model. Is it no wonder my posts often seem peeved?

Stardust1954 said...

LMAO!!! That last pic is SO funny! While doing research for my ongoing series of Culinary Iconography, I have enough of this material to keep the series going for YEARS. I don't know whether to laugh or be scared!

I live in chicagoland and that damned virgin mary crap under a viaduct on the Kennedy expressway is a big pain in the rear end. As if traffic wasn't bad enough! They will arrest a bum for walking down the expressway and will fine people for throwing trash around but they let these religious nuts block traffic, and get out of their cars to pray and put holy candles and crap at the site of the waterstain. GRRRR!

Bahnsen Burner said...

This is a really humorous topic in fact, one which shows just how gullible one has to be to take religious nonsense seriously. When it comes to supposed images of Jesus and Mary, my question has always been: How do you know the image is supposed to be Jesus (or Mary as it were)? The "faces" on tortillas, wall stains and ink blots look like Ivan the Terrible, Rasputin, Mohammed, Rabbi Baruch, Kaiser Wilhelm, even Andy Warhol had he donned a beard (perhaps he's got one in the afterlife!). But Christians insist that they're all pictures of Jesus! I can understand why some might say "I'll have what they're smoking."

Regards,
Dawson

TheJollyNihilist said...

A bit of science can explain all this nonsense. Humans have a pre-programmed brain mechanism that tries to find order in chaos. We look for familiar patterns (for example, a face) and invent order/design where there is none. Add in a devout belief in religion, and the strong desire to see one's superstitions confirmed, and we have Jesus sightings in wheat toast.

Ranting Dullard said...

I see Jelly fish and a big grey cock.

And jesus in my door.

Shaun said...

Thanks, your's is quite entertaining as well. This was a hilarious post.

Simon said...

Dude, that's blasphemous - if the big man finds out, you're toast...

LBBP said...

I still think the toast looks more like Marilyn Monroe. Definitely not a "Virgin", that one.

Mary said...

O.k. It is harder than you think to do the image trick. Don't get me wrong. I didn't tag the bridge. But my Guadalupe work was excellent. And, yes, I did the grilled cheese. But I thought it was funny.

But while I have your attention, let me make a request. Please stop calling me "the Virgin" Mary. You don't introduce your wife as "Pam who likes to be spanked" or your husband as "Can't get enough fellatio Steve." Just Mary is fine. You can throw in the "Blessed" if you like, but it really doesn't matter to me.

Your friend, Mary.

marygodsbitch.blogspot.com

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